• Cakes and Ale

    Here is a purported to be true story someone found regarding exams at Cambridge University. It seems that during an examination one day a bright...

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    Here is a purported to be true story someone found regarding exams at Cambridge University. It seems that during an examination one day a bright young student popped up and asked the proctor to bring him Cakes and Ale. The following dialog ensued:  Proctor: “I beg your pardon?”  Student: “Sir, I request that you bring me...
  • Fill it With Water

    Three students, a student from Tennessee, a student from Alabama, and a student from Auburn are out walking together one day. They come across a...

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    Three students, a student from Tennessee, a student from Alabama, and a student from Auburn are out walking together one day. They come across a lantern and a Genie pops out of it.  “I will give you each one wish, that’s three wishes total” says the Genie. The Tennessee student says, “I am a farmer,...
  • College Business Professor

    A college business professor could not help but notice that one of his students was late to class for the third time that week. Before...

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    A college business professor could not help but notice that one of his students was late to class for the third time that week. Before class ended he went around the room asking students some questions about the day’s lecture. Of course, he made sure to pick on his tardy pupil.  “And who was it...
  • A Kiss

    Professors of different subjects define the same word in different ways: Prof. of Computer Science: A kiss is a few bits of love compiled into...

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    Professors of different subjects define the same word in different ways: Prof. of Computer Science: A kiss is a few bits of love compiled into a byte. Prof. of Algebra: A kiss is two divided by nothing. Prof. of Geometry: A kiss is the shortest distance between two straight lines. Prof. of Physics: A kiss...
  • Photo

    The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture. “Just think...

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    The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture. “Just think how nice it will be to look at it when you are all grown up and say, ‘There’s Jennifer; she’s a lawyer’ or ‘That’s Michael, he’s a doctor.'” A small...
  • A Dollar Per Point

    A professor was giving a big test one day to his students. He handed out all of the tests and went back to his desk...

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    A professor was giving a big test one day to his students. He handed out all of the tests and went back to his desk to wait. Once the test was over, the students all handed the tests back in. The professor noticed that one of the students had attached a $100 bill to his...
  • A-B-C grade.

    There was a university in New England where the students operated a “bank” of term papers and other homework assignments. There were papers to suit...

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    There was a university in New England where the students operated a “bank” of term papers and other homework assignments. There were papers to suit all needs. Since it would look odd if an undistinguished student suddenly handed in a brilliant essay, there were papers for an A grade, B grade, and C grade. One...
  • Final Exam

    A teacher was wrapping up class and started talking about tomorrow’s final exam. He said there would be no excuses for not showing up tomorrow, barring...

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    A teacher was wrapping up class and started talking about tomorrow’s final exam. He said there would be no excuses for not showing up tomorrow, barring a dire medical condition or an immediate family member’s death.  One smart ass, male student said, “What about extreme sexual exhaustion?” and the whole classroom burst into laughter.  After the...
  • First Day Of School

    It was this little girl’s first day of school and the teacher asked her what her name was and she replied, “Happy Butt.” The teacher...

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    It was this little girl’s first day of school and the teacher asked her what her name was and she replied, “Happy Butt.” The teacher said, “Honey, I don’t think that’s your name you need to go to the principal’s office and get this straightened out.”  So, she went to the principal’s office and he...
  • To Save Him

    Teacher is explaining to the student, “If you see someone sinking in the water, you should pull his hair to save him from the water. It...

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    Teacher is explaining to the student, “If you see someone sinking in the water, you should pull his hair to save him from the water. It will be easy for you.”  Student: “But sir, if it happens to you, we wouldn’t help you.”  Teacher: “Why?”  Student: “Because you don’t have any hair!” 
  • Money and Knowledge

    Teacher: “Suppose, you are offered money and knowledge. You have to take one of them. Which one would you choose?”  Student: “Money.”  Teacher: “I would...

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    Teacher: “Suppose, you are offered money and knowledge. You have to take one of them. Which one would you choose?”  Student: “Money.”  Teacher: “I would have taken knowledge. But why do you take money?”  Student: “I have the lack of money that’s why. You have the lack of knowledge. That’s why!” 
  • Little Billy

    The math teacher asked Little Billy, “If you have £20 and I ask you for £10 as a loan, how many pounds would you still have?” ...

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    The math teacher asked Little Billy, “If you have £20 and I ask you for £10 as a loan, how many pounds would you still have?”  “Twenty” came the reply.  “How so?” enquired the teacher.  “Just because you ask me to loan you £10, it doesn’t I am going to!”
  • Negative Positive

    A linguistics professor was lecturing his class one day. “In English”, he said, “A double negative forms a positive. In some languages, though, such as Russian,...

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    A linguistics professor was lecturing his class one day. “In English”, he said, “A double negative forms a positive. In some languages, though, such as Russian, a double negative is still a negative. However, there is no language wherein a double positive can form a negative.”  A loud voice from the back of the room piped...
  • All Tense

    Mrs. Andrews walked into class looking all nervous. As most of her students are yet to come, she sat down at her table in front...

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    Mrs. Andrews walked into class looking all nervous. As most of her students are yet to come, she sat down at her table in front and started fidgeting. Christine noticed this and, being the polite lady that she is, asked Mrs. Andrews, “Are you okay, teacher? What’s bothering you?” With a tight smile on her...
  • Art Class

    It was painting day at Ms. Andrews’ art class. All the other little girls and boys were busy painting unicorns, rainbows, robots, and toys when...

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    It was painting day at Ms. Andrews’ art class. All the other little girls and boys were busy painting unicorns, rainbows, robots, and toys when little Johnnie went to Ms. Andrews to pass his work. “Finished so soon, Johnnie?” asked Ms. Andrews. The little boy nodded and smiled. But when Ms. Andrews looked at his...
  • Kangaroo

    During a class recitation, the teacher asked the students to identify an animal whose name starts with the letter “K”. Carl raised his hand and...

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    During a class recitation, the teacher asked the students to identify an animal whose name starts with the letter “K”. Carl raised his hand and answered, “Kangaroo!” “Very well”, the teacher said. “What animal’s name begins with the letter “t”? Carl answered again, “Two Kangaroos!” The teacher reprimanded the little boy for being gamey. Then...
  • Heaven or Hell

    One day in class, an elementary teacher was arguing that Jonah’s bible story could not be true because it was physically impossible for a whale...

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    One day in class, an elementary teacher was arguing that Jonah’s bible story could not be true because it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human being as the whale’s throat is small. One of the girls in class expressed disbelief and insisted that Jonah was indeed swallowed by a whale. Challenged,...
  • A Neighbor

    A teacher asks her three students Peter, James, and John what they want to be when they grow up. Peter: I want to be a...

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    A teacher asks her three students Peter, James, and John what they want to be when they grow up. Peter: I want to be a doctor so I can heal my neighbors. James: I want to be a lawyer so I can defend my neighbors. John: I want to be a neighbor.
  • First Day

    On the first day of first grade, Mrs. Smith asked her students to name their favorite letter. One young girl in front raised her hand...

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    On the first day of first grade, Mrs. Smith asked her students to name their favorite letter. One young girl in front raised her hand and said: “My favorite letter is ‘F,’ because the word ‘flowers’ begins with ‘F’.” “Very good, Marissa!” Mrs. Smith chirped. “Who else?” A young boy raised his hand and said:...
  • Fascinating

    Mrs. Jennings began each vocabulary lesson by asking the students to use a word in a sentence. “Okay, class,” she announced, “who can use the...

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    Mrs. Jennings began each vocabulary lesson by asking the students to use a word in a sentence. “Okay, class,” she announced, “who can use the word ‘fascinate’ properly in a sentence?”   Mary shot her hand up and, before Mrs. Jennings could call on her, she said “I went to Alaska over spring break and...