• Long Hair

    A young man had just gotten his driver’s permit and inquired of his father, an evangelist, if they could discuss the use of the car....

    View Full Post
    A young man had just gotten his driver’s permit and inquired of his father, an evangelist, if they could discuss the use of the car. His father took him to the study and said to the boy, “I’ll make a deal with you, son. You bring your grades up from a C to a B-...
  • Cakes and Ale

    Here is a purported to be true story someone found regarding exams at Cambridge University. It seems that during an examination one day a bright...

    View Full Post
    Here is a purported to be true story someone found regarding exams at Cambridge University. It seems that during an examination one day a bright young student popped up and asked the proctor to bring him Cakes and Ale. The following dialog ensued:  Proctor: “I beg your pardon?”  Student: “Sir, I request that you bring me...
  • Fill it With Water

    Three students, a student from Tennessee, a student from Alabama, and a student from Auburn are out walking together one day. They come across a...

    View Full Post
    Three students, a student from Tennessee, a student from Alabama, and a student from Auburn are out walking together one day. They come across a lantern and a Genie pops out of it.  “I will give you each one wish, that’s three wishes total” says the Genie. The Tennessee student says, “I am a farmer,...
  • Knowledge in Pill

    A somewhat advanced society has figured out how to package basic knowledge in pill form. A student, needing some learning, goes to the pharmacy and...

    View Full Post
    A somewhat advanced society has figured out how to package basic knowledge in pill form. A student, needing some learning, goes to the pharmacy and asks what kind of knowledge pills are available. The pharmacist says: “Here’s a pill for English literature.” The student takes the pill and swallows it and has new knowledge about...
  • I’m The Goalie

    Sandy began a job as an elementary school counselor and she was eager to help. One day during recess she noticed a girl standing by...

    View Full Post
    Sandy began a job as an elementary school counselor and she was eager to help. One day during recess she noticed a girl standing by herself on one side of a playing field while the rest of the kids enjoyed a game of soccer at the other. Sandy approached and asked if she was all...
  • A Kiss

    Professors of different subjects define the same word in different ways: Prof. of Computer Science: A kiss is a few bits of love compiled into...

    View Full Post
    Professors of different subjects define the same word in different ways: Prof. of Computer Science: A kiss is a few bits of love compiled into a byte. Prof. of Algebra: A kiss is two divided by nothing. Prof. of Geometry: A kiss is the shortest distance between two straight lines. Prof. of Physics: A kiss...
  • Bank Robbery

    A Tennessee graduate and a Bama graduate decided to rob a bank together. The Bama man plans the robbery and goes over the plan with...

    View Full Post
    A Tennessee graduate and a Bama graduate decided to rob a bank together. The Bama man plans the robbery and goes over the plan with the UT guy extensively. The robbery begins. The Bama man drives up in front of the bank, stops the car and says to the Vol, “I want to make absolutely...
  • Three Medieval Kingdoms

    There were three medieval kingdoms on the shores of a lake. There was an island in the middle of the lake, which the kingdoms had...

    View Full Post
    There were three medieval kingdoms on the shores of a lake. There was an island in the middle of the lake, which the kingdoms had been fighting over for years. Finally, the three kings decided that they would send their knights out to do battle, and the winner would take the island. The night before...
  • Which Tyre?

    Introductory Chemistry was taught at Duke University for many years by professor Bonk. One year, two guys took the class and did pretty well on...

    View Full Post
    Introductory Chemistry was taught at Duke University for many years by professor Bonk. One year, two guys took the class and did pretty well on all the quizzes and mid-terms–so much so that going into the final, they each had a solid A. These two friends were so confident going into the final that the...
  • Not Very Well

    In an American history discussion group, the professor was trying to explain how society’s ideal of beauty changes with time. “For example,” he said, “take...

    View Full Post
    In an American history discussion group, the professor was trying to explain how society’s ideal of beauty changes with time. “For example,” he said, “take the 1921 Miss America. She stood five feet, one inch tall, weighed 108 pounds and had measurements of 30-25-32. How do you think she’d do in today’s version of the contest?”...
  • Special Offer – Brains

    A man is passing a butcher’s shop and sees a sign: Special Offer – Brains Cow brains —— a penny a pound Sheep brains —— 2 pounds...

    View Full Post
    A man is passing a butcher’s shop and sees a sign: Special Offer – Brains Cow brains —— a penny a pound Sheep brains —— 2 pounds a pound Pig brains ——– 2 pounds a pound Doctor brains —— 50 pounds a pound Engineer brains ——- 50 pounds a pound Programmer brains ——-50 pounds a pound Lawyer brains —— 1000 pounds a...
  • At my Funeral

    As Mr. Smith was on his death bed, he attempted to formulate a plan that would allow him to take at least some of his...

    View Full Post
    As Mr. Smith was on his death bed, he attempted to formulate a plan that would allow him to take at least some of his considerable wealth with him. He called for the three men he trusted most – his lawyer, his doctor and his clergyman. He told them, “I’m going to give you each...
  • Backpack

    There were three passengers in a plane that was about to crash. One was the smartest man in the world, one was the President of...

    View Full Post
    1
    There were three passengers in a plane that was about to crash. One was the smartest man in the world, one was the President of the United States, and one was a little girl. However, there were only two parachutes.  The first man, the smartest man in the world, stood up and said, “The people...
  • Spending Too Much Time On The Computer?

    Here are some common indicators: 1. You accidentally enter your computer password on the microwave. 2. You haven’t played solitaire with real cards in years. 3. You have...

    View Full Post
    Here are some common indicators: 1. You accidentally enter your computer password on the microwave. 2. You haven’t played solitaire with real cards in years. 3. You have a list of 15 phone numbers to reach your family of three. 4. You e-mail the person who works at the desk next to you. 5. Your reason for not staying in...
  • Never Trust

    An American and his Czechoslovakian friend were out walking in the forest. They rounded a corner and right in front of them stood a giant...

    View Full Post
    An American and his Czechoslovakian friend were out walking in the forest. They rounded a corner and right in front of them stood a giant grizzly bear. Before they could make a move, the bear jumped up and ate the European. The American turned and ran. He pulled out his cell phone and called the...
  • An Elderly Couple

    An elderly couple was driving across the country. The woman was driving when she got pulled over by the highway patrol. The officer said, “Mam,...

    View Full Post
    An elderly couple was driving across the country. The woman was driving when she got pulled over by the highway patrol. The officer said, “Mam, did you know you were speeding?”  The woman, hard of hearing, turned to her husband and asked, “What did he say?”  The old man yelled, “He says you were speeding!” ...
  • Wonderful Marksman

    An army marksman passed through a small town and saw evidence of amazing shooting. On trees, walls and fences were numerous bull’s eyes with the...

    View Full Post
    An army marksman passed through a small town and saw evidence of amazing shooting. On trees, walls and fences were numerous bull’s eyes with the bullet hole in the exact centre. He went to meet the remarkable marksman. “This is the most wonderful marksmanship I have ever seen!” said the army man, “How were you...
  • A Huge Dog

    An elderly man answered his door bell. He found a friend and a huge dog standing on the porch. “Come in”, he said heartily, “Come...

    View Full Post
    An elderly man answered his door bell. He found a friend and a huge dog standing on the porch. “Come in”, he said heartily, “Come in.”   So, the friend entered, followed by the dog. During the next hour, the dog knocked over an expensive vase, chased the host’s cat up the stairs and crashed...
  • Child and War

    One day a boy asked his parents, “How do wars break out? How are they declared?” So, the father, who was very learned in economic...

    View Full Post
    One day a boy asked his parents, “How do wars break out? How are they declared?” So, the father, who was very learned in economic matters, started talking about wheat, oil and all the things that divide the world. But the mother thought the boy was too small to understand such things and she said,...
  • Metric Tones

    A teacher was identifying countries in the world map. A young student stood up and asked, “Sir, would you kindly tell us the weight of...

    View Full Post
    A teacher was identifying countries in the world map. A young student stood up and asked, “Sir, would you kindly tell us the weight of the earth?” Since the teacher did not know the answer, he consulted reference material and on the next day replied, “The weight of the earth is one billion metric tones.”...