• 75 Storey Sky Scraper

    Bill, Jim and Scott were at a convention together and were sharing a large suite on the top of a 75 storey sky scraper. After...

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    Bill, Jim and Scott were at a convention together and were sharing a large suite on the top of a 75 storey sky scraper. After a long day of meetings, they were shocked to hear that the elevators in their hotel were broken and they would have to climb 75 flights of stairs to get...
  • Hilarious Resume :

    I demand a salary commiserate with my extensive experience. I have learnt Word Perfect 6.0, computer and spreadsheet programs. Received a plague for Salesperson of...

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    I demand a salary commiserate with my extensive experience. I have learnt Word Perfect 6.0, computer and spreadsheet programs. Received a plague for Salesperson of the Year. Wholly responsible for two (2) failed financial institutions. Failed bar exam with relatively high grades. It’s best for employers that I not work with people. I Am a...
  • I’m The Boss !

    The boss was complaining in our staff meeting the other day that he wasn’t getting any respect. Later that morning he went to a local...

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    The boss was complaining in our staff meeting the other day that he wasn’t getting any respect. Later that morning he went to a local sign shop and bought a small sign that read: “I’m the Boss!” He then taped it to his office door. Later that day when he returned from lunch, he found...
  • The Most Wonderful Weekend

    A man walks into a very posh Rodeo Drive furrier with a gorgeous blonde on his arm. “Show the lady your finest mink!” the fellow...

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    A man walks into a very posh Rodeo Drive furrier with a gorgeous blonde on his arm. “Show the lady your finest mink!” the fellow exclaims. So the owner of the shop goes in the back and comes out with an absolutely gorgeous full-length coat. As the lady tries it on, the furrier sidles up...
  • Big John

    One fine day, a bus driver went to the bus garage, started his bus, and drove off along the route. No problems for the first...

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    One fine day, a bus driver went to the bus garage, started his bus, and drove off along the route. No problems for the first few stops, a few people got on, a few got off, and things went generally well. At the next stop, however, a big hulk of a guy got on. Six...
  • A Job Interview

    Three guys go in for a job interview, all at the same office. The first one goes in for his interview and the interviewer says,...

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    Three guys go in for a job interview, all at the same office. The first one goes in for his interview and the interviewer says, “What’s the first thing you see when you look at me?” The guy says, “That’s not too hard, you’ve got no ears.” The interviewer says, “That’s it, get out, you’ll...
  • Coffee Break

    Four men were bragging about how smart their dogs are. The first man was an Engineer, the second was an Accountant, the third was a...

    Four men were bragging about how smart their dogs are. The first man was an Engineer, the second was an Accountant, the third was a Chemist, and the fourth man was a Government Worker. To show off, the Engineer called to his dog, “T-Square, do your stuff.” T-Square trotted over to a desk, took out...
  • Saint Peter

    The Reverend Francis Norton woke up Sunday morning and realizing it was an exceptionally beautiful and sunny early spring day, decided he just had to...

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    The Reverend Francis Norton woke up Sunday morning and realizing it was an exceptionally beautiful and sunny early spring day, decided he just had to play golf. So… he told the Associate Pastor that he was feeling sick and convinced him to say Mass for him that day. As soon as the Associate Pastor left...
  • Hairy Chest

    All The Equipment4A motorcycle patrolman was rushed to the hospital with an inflamed appendix.  The doctors operated and advised him that all was well. However,...

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    All The Equipment4A motorcycle patrolman was rushed to the hospital with an inflamed appendix.  The doctors operated and advised him that all was well. However, the patrolman kept feeling something pulling at the hairs on his chest. Worried that it might be a second incision the doctors hadn’t told him about, he finally got enough...
  • Newborn Baby

    Jim was seconds away from having a vasectomy when his brother and sister-in-law barged in holding their newborn baby. “Stop!” exclaimed the brother. “You can’t...

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    Jim was seconds away from having a vasectomy when his brother and sister-in-law barged in holding their newborn baby. “Stop!” exclaimed the brother. “You can’t go through with this!” “And why not?” asked Jim. “Don’t you want to have a beautiful baby some day, like my wife and I have here?” Jim said nothing. The...
  • New Evening Dress

    A mother was trying to explain to her little girl how she had recently become pregnant. She explained how a baby was growing in her...

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    A mother was trying to explain to her little girl how she had recently become pregnant. She explained how a baby was growing in her tummy, and how it took an egg and a sperm to make the baby. Daddy made the sperm and Mommy made the egg. Then the little girl asked: “Mommy, if...
  • Mixture Of Feelings

    One night a woman found her husband standing over their newborn baby’s crib. Silently she watched him. As he stood looking down at the sleeping...

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    One night a woman found her husband standing over their newborn baby’s crib. Silently she watched him. As he stood looking down at the sleeping infant, she saw on his face a mixture of feelings: disbelief, doubt, delight, amazement, enchantment, scepticism. Touched by his rare display of deep emotion, she felt her eyes grow moist....
  • Parental Questioning

    Under intense parental questioning, a teenage girl admitted that she was pregnant but couldn’t say for sure who the father was. Her mother was furious....

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    Under intense parental questioning, a teenage girl admitted that she was pregnant but couldn’t say for sure who the father was. Her mother was furious. “Go to your room,” she bellowed, “and don’t come out until you can give us a definite answer!” Later that night, the girl came downstairs apologetically. “Mom, I think I...
  • Boss,Boss,

    This guy is selling three parrots. Another guy who wants to buy a parrot approaches him and asks, “How much are your parrots?” The salesman...

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    This guy is selling three parrots. Another guy who wants to buy a parrot approaches him and asks, “How much are your parrots?” The salesman answers, “The first one is $1,000.” ” What does he know?” ” He knows 10,000 words and 500 sentences and is able to solve mathematical expressions.” ” How about the...
  • Five Minutes

    Every morning a man drives to the dock, and Every morning a man takes the ferry to work. One morning he woke up and had...

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    Every morning a man drives to the dock, and Every morning a man takes the ferry to work. One morning he woke up and had no electricity. He had no idea what time it was, and he thought that he was late for work.  So, he quickly got dressed, ate breakfast and rushed out the...
  • An Angel

    An angel appears at a faculty meeting and tells the dean that in return for his unselfish and exemplary behavior, the Lord will reward him...

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    An angel appears at a faculty meeting and tells the dean that in return for his unselfish and exemplary behavior, the Lord will reward him with his choice of infinite wealth, wisdom, or beauty.  Without hesitating, the dean selects infinite wisdom. “Done!” says the angel, and disappears in a cloud of smoke and a bolt...
  • Chapter 15

    A student called up his Mom one evening from his college and asked her for some money, because he was broke. His Mother said, “Sure,...

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    A student called up his Mom one evening from his college and asked her for some money, because he was broke. His Mother said, “Sure, sweetie. I will send you some money. you also left your economics book here when you visited two weeks ago. Do you want me to send that up too?” “Uhh,...
  • I Don’t Know The Answer

    At a large college there was a football player that was extremely stupid. He sat beside a boy in class that was really smart and...

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    At a large college there was a football player that was extremely stupid. He sat beside a boy in class that was really smart and the teacher knew that he was cheating, but he just couldn’t catch him. One day she was grading a test and she noticed that the smart boy had written “I...
  • Beggar

    Two college students, Frank and Matt, are riding on a New York City subway when a beggar approaches them asking for spare change. Frank adamantly rejects...

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    Two college students, Frank and Matt, are riding on a New York City subway when a beggar approaches them asking for spare change. Frank adamantly rejects the man in disgust.  Matt, on the other hand, whips out his wallet, pulls out a couple of singles and gladly hands them over to the beggar with a smile....
  • Experiment With Legos

    Several colleges have started a pilot program that uses a simple group experiment with Legos as a replacement for the standard admissions test. The group...

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    Several colleges have started a pilot program that uses a simple group experiment with Legos as a replacement for the standard admissions test. The group must recreate a model of a robot in the next room, with only one team member allowed to view the robot at any one time. Since different schools have different...