• Reasons Why Beer Is Better Than Women

    A frigid beer is a good beer. After a beer, the bottle is still worth a nickel. All you have to do to get head...

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    A frigid beer is a good beer. After a beer, the bottle is still worth a nickel. All you have to do to get head is undo the top and turn it upside down. Beer can is worth something after you’ve had it. Beer doesn’t bother about foreplay. Beer doesn’t care what position your in....
  • What a Day I Have Had

    A man sits in a bar just staring at his drink for about twenty minutes. A big guy comes up to him, takes his drink and...

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    A man sits in a bar just staring at his drink for about twenty minutes. A big guy comes up to him, takes his drink and drinks it down in one. The man starts to cry. The big guy tells him not to cry as he was only messing about and offers to replace his drink. “That’s not...
  • Two Drunks

    Two drunks are in a pub talking.  Man No.1: “I heard that you recently formed a rock group.”  Man No.2: “Yup, I’ve formed a quintet.” ...

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    Two drunks are in a pub talking.  Man No.1: “I heard that you recently formed a rock group.”  Man No.2: “Yup, I’ve formed a quintet.”  Man No.1: “How many is that then?”  Man No.2: “Four.”  Man No.1: “Four – you sure?”  Man No.2: “Yup – me and my three brothers.”  Man No.1: “You have three...
  • The Problems

    A man walks into a bar, sits down and orders a Bud. He says, “Give me a beer before problems start!” The bartender doesn’t understand...

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    A man walks into a bar, sits down and orders a Bud. He says, “Give me a beer before problems start!” The bartender doesn’t understand but gives the man a beer. After 15 minutes, the man orders a beer again saying, “Give me a beer before problems start!” The bartender looks a little bit confused...
  • Yoga

    The alcoholic came to the yoga school. – Hi, I am an alcoholic. I’ve read in the magazine that yoga helps alcoholics to change their...

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    The alcoholic came to the yoga school. – Hi, I am an alcoholic. I’ve read in the magazine that yoga helps alcoholics to change their lives. I think I am ready. Can you please give me a few lessons. – Of course, welcome to the family! (Two months later). – So how are you? Have...
  • Stages of Drunkenness

    0 – Sober as a nun. Brain as sharp as a knife until the real party starts. 1 – Light-headed good. There is a feel...

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    0 – Sober as a nun. Brain as sharp as a knife until the real party starts. 1 – Light-headed good. There is a feel of a very slight pleasure. 2 – Warning up ahead. Appetizers ordered. Bartender suddenly looks pretty. He’s a dude, by the way. 3 – Starts brilliant discussion about politics with...
  • Signs That You are Way Too Drunk

    1. You’re having an imaginary argument with your girlfriend in which you are winning. 2. You want to go the zoo to check out if...

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    1. You’re having an imaginary argument with your girlfriend in which you are winning. 2. You want to go the zoo to check out if they have camels there. 3. It is easier to crawl than walk. 4. You insist you’re not drunk, just “intoxicated”. 5. You can see better with one eye closed. 6....
  • The Drunk Father

    A lone man was enjoying a good pint of ale at the bar when a drunk barges in. He swaggered all the way to the...

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    A lone man was enjoying a good pint of ale at the bar when a drunk barges in. He swaggered all the way to the bartender where the lonesome man was enjoying his beer and made a declaration. “Your mother is the best sex in town!” He yelled. This roused the people at the bar...
  • Pianist

    A man walks into a bar and sees a man sitting at a table with a tiny man playing a tiny piano. “Hey, where’d you...

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    A man walks into a bar and sees a man sitting at a table with a tiny man playing a tiny piano. “Hey, where’d you get that?” The man asks. The sitting man pulls a lamp from his pocket and tells him to rub it and wish for anything he wants. “Be sure to speak...