Funny Jokes Club

  • Hearing Aid

    An elderly retired gentleman had severe hearing problems for some time.  He went to the doctor and the doctor was able to have him fitted...

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    An elderly retired gentleman had severe hearing problems for some time.  He went to the doctor and the doctor was able to have him fitted for a set of hearing aids that allowed the man to hear better than he had ever heard before.  One month later, the elderly man went back again to the...
  • I Said Chicken!

    A man goes to his doctor and says, “I don’t think my wife’s hearing isn’t as good as it used to be. What should I...

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    A man goes to his doctor and says, “I don’t think my wife’s hearing isn’t as good as it used to be. What should I do?” The doctor replies, “Try this test to find out for sure. When your wife is in the kitchen doing dishes, stand fifteen feet behind her and ask her a question,...
  • Orange Juice

    An elderly woman went into the doctor’s office. When the doctor asked why she was there, she replied, “I’d like to have some birth control...

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    An elderly woman went into the doctor’s office. When the doctor asked why she was there, she replied, “I’d like to have some birth control pills.” Taken aback, the doctor thought for a minute and then said, “Excuse me, Mrs. Smith, but you’re 75 years old. What possible use could you have for birth control...
  • Honey, What’s for Dinner?

    A man stops by his doctor’s office. He tells his doctor of his concern for his wife’s hearing. “She doesn’t answer me when I ask...

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    A man stops by his doctor’s office. He tells his doctor of his concern for his wife’s hearing. “She doesn’t answer me when I ask her questions.” He told his doctor.   After a lengthy conversation, the doctor thinks of a simple test the man can do: “Stand about twenty feet behind your wife and...
  • A Little Bit Different

    After a woman had given birth, the doctor appeared in the ward with a worried expression on his face and announced solemnly: “There’s something I...

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    After a woman had given birth, the doctor appeared in the ward with a worried expression on his face and announced solemnly: “There’s something I have to tell you about your baby.” The woman sat bolt upright in bed and demanded: “What’s wrong with my baby, doctor?” The doctor said: “Well, nothing’s wrong exactly. It’s...
  • Special Offer – Brains

    A man is passing a butcher’s shop and sees a sign: Special Offer – Brains Cow brains —— a penny a pound Sheep brains —— 2 pounds...

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    A man is passing a butcher’s shop and sees a sign: Special Offer – Brains Cow brains —— a penny a pound Sheep brains —— 2 pounds a pound Pig brains ——– 2 pounds a pound Doctor brains —— 50 pounds a pound Engineer brains ——- 50 pounds a pound Programmer brains ——-50 pounds a pound Lawyer brains —— 1000 pounds a...
  • Bad News

    A patient went to his Doctor who said, “I have bad news and really bad news.”  “What’s the bad news?” asked the patient. “You only...

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    A patient went to his Doctor who said, “I have bad news and really bad news.”  “What’s the bad news?” asked the patient. “You only have 24 hours to live” said the Doctor. “That’s terrible, what could the really bad news be?”  The Doctor replied, “I’ve been trying to get in touch with you since yesterday!”  
  • Lawyers

    A woman went to her doctor for advice. She told the physician that her husband had developed a penchant for anal s..x, and she wasn’t...

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    A woman went to her doctor for advice. She told the physician that her husband had developed a penchant for anal s..x, and she wasn’t sure it was such a good idea. The Doctor asked, “Do you enjoy it?” She said that she did. He asked, “Does it hurt you?” She said no. The Doctor...
  • Hairy Chest

    All The Equipment4A motorcycle patrolman was rushed to the hospital with an inflamed appendix.  The doctors operated and advised him that all was well. However,...

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    All The Equipment4A motorcycle patrolman was rushed to the hospital with an inflamed appendix.  The doctors operated and advised him that all was well. However, the patrolman kept feeling something pulling at the hairs on his chest. Worried that it might be a second incision the doctors hadn’t told him about, he finally got enough...