Funny Jokes Club

  • Coffee Break

    Four men were bragging about how smart their dogs are. The first man was an Engineer, the second was an Accountant, the third was a...

    Four men were bragging about how smart their dogs are. The first man was an Engineer, the second was an Accountant, the third was a Chemist, and the fourth man was a Government Worker. To show off, the Engineer called to his dog, “T-Square, do your stuff.” T-Square trotted over to a desk, took out...
  • Boot Camp

    One of Microsoft’s finest technicians was drafted and sent to boot camp. At the rifle range, he was given some instruction, a rifle and bullets....

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    One of Microsoft’s finest technicians was drafted and sent to boot camp. At the rifle range, he was given some instruction, a rifle and bullets. He fired several shots at the target. The report came from the target area that all attempts had completely missed the target. The technician looked at his rifle, and then...
  • What’s Your Occupation?

    I go to the gym. One guy often arrives at the same time with me and we spend a few minutes in the locker room....

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    I go to the gym. One guy often arrives at the same time with me and we spend a few minutes in the locker room. I don’t even know his name. The other men often speak about some nonsense stuff like girls, nutrition tips, or random things about their life. On the opposite, this guy...
  • I’m The Boss !

    The boss was complaining in our staff meeting the other day that he wasn’t getting any respect. Later that morning he went to a local...

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    The boss was complaining in our staff meeting the other day that he wasn’t getting any respect. Later that morning he went to a local sign shop and bought a small sign that read: “I’m the Boss!” He then taped it to his office door. Later that day when he returned from lunch, he found...
  • Sick Leave Policy

    TO: ALL EMPLOYEES SUBJECT: SICK LEAVE POLICY SICKNESS: No excuse…We will no longer accept your doctor’s statement as proof. We believe that if you are...

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    TO: ALL EMPLOYEES SUBJECT: SICK LEAVE POLICY SICKNESS: No excuse…We will no longer accept your doctor’s statement as proof. We believe that if you are able to go to the doctor, you are able to come to work. AN OPERATION: We are no longer allowing this practice. We wish to discourage any thoughts that you...
  • An Anonymous Letter

    Chris was the proprietor of a big firm but was mean with his employees. On the firm’s 25th anniversary, he offered a $5000 prize to...

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    Chris was the proprietor of a big firm but was mean with his employees. On the firm’s 25th anniversary, he offered a $5000 prize to the employee who could suggest the best publicity idea for the firm. But he insisted upon the following conditions that the idea should cost very little, that the whole country...
  • What a Day I Have Had

    A man sits in a bar just staring at his drink for about twenty minutes. A big guy comes up to him, takes his drink and...

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    A man sits in a bar just staring at his drink for about twenty minutes. A big guy comes up to him, takes his drink and drinks it down in one. The man starts to cry. The big guy tells him not to cry as he was only messing about and offers to replace his drink. “That’s not...
  • Boss,Boss,

    This guy is selling three parrots. Another guy who wants to buy a parrot approaches him and asks, “How much are your parrots?” The salesman...

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    This guy is selling three parrots. Another guy who wants to buy a parrot approaches him and asks, “How much are your parrots?” The salesman answers, “The first one is $1,000.” ” What does he know?” ” He knows 10,000 words and 500 sentences and is able to solve mathematical expressions.” ” How about the...
  • The Surprise

    Driving home one evening, my boss called me and informed me that he had promoted me. The surprise caused me to swerve the car. A few...

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    Driving home one evening, my boss called me and informed me that he had promoted me. The surprise caused me to swerve the car. A few minutes later, he called again to say that he was making me vice-president of the company. The shock caused me to swerve the car more than previously. A further five minutes on,...
  • Businessman

    A clergyman was arguing with a successful businessman on the need to attend church. At last, he put the question squarely, “What is your personal...

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    A clergyman was arguing with a successful businessman on the need to attend church. At last, he put the question squarely, “What is your personal reason for not attending?” The businessman smiled as he replied, “One finds so many hypocrites there.” “Don’t let that keep you away”, said the clergyman, “there is always room for...
  • Microsoft’s Support Office

    There was a pilot flying a small single engine charter plane, with a couple of very important executives on board. He was coming into Seattle...

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    There was a pilot flying a small single engine charter plane, with a couple of very important executives on board. He was coming into Seattle airport through thick fog with less than 10m visibility when his instruments went out. So, he began circling around looking for landmark. After an hour or so, he starts running...
  • Funny Out Of Office Replies

    I am currently out at a job interview and will reply to you if I fail to get the position! 2. I’m not really out...

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    I am currently out at a job interview and will reply to you if I fail to get the position! 2. I’m not really out of the office. I’m just ignoring you! 3. You are receiving this automatic notification because I am out of the office. If I was in, chances are you wouldn’t have...
  • Metric Tones

    A teacher was identifying countries in the world map. A young student stood up and asked, “Sir, would you kindly tell us the weight of...

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    A teacher was identifying countries in the world map. A young student stood up and asked, “Sir, would you kindly tell us the weight of the earth?” Since the teacher did not know the answer, he consulted reference material and on the next day replied, “The weight of the earth is one billion metric tones.”...
  • Hilarious Resume :

    I demand a salary commiserate with my extensive experience. I have learnt Word Perfect 6.0, computer and spreadsheet programs. Received a plague for Salesperson of...

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    I demand a salary commiserate with my extensive experience. I have learnt Word Perfect 6.0, computer and spreadsheet programs. Received a plague for Salesperson of the Year. Wholly responsible for two (2) failed financial institutions. Failed bar exam with relatively high grades. It’s best for employers that I not work with people. I Am a...
  • The Question Is

    I asked my 2 year-old-daughter, “Do you want to ride the horse?” She looked around and said, “But we have no horse.” I replied, “I...

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    I asked my 2 year-old-daughter, “Do you want to ride the horse?” She looked around and said, “But we have no horse.” I replied, “I can be the horse for you, my baby girl, you can ride my back.” She looked straight into my eyes and replied, “Mom, but you are a human.” The question...
  • Three Proud Mothers

    Three proud mothers were bragging about the virtues of their children. The First said, “My daughter, the surgeon, has invented a new artificial liver that...

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    Three proud mothers were bragging about the virtues of their children. The First said, “My daughter, the surgeon, has invented a new artificial liver that has saved the lives of numerous patients.”  The second proudly followed, “My son, the scientist, has developed a new energy source capable of heating thousands of homes with absolutely no...
  • I Might Be Gay

    Boss to four of his employees: “I’m really sorry, but I’m going to have to let one of you go.” Black Employee: “I’m a protected...

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    Boss to four of his employees: “I’m really sorry, but I’m going to have to let one of you go.” Black Employee: “I’m a protected minority.” Female Employee: “And I’m a woman.” Oldest Employee: “Fire me, buster, and I’ll hit you with an age discrimination suit so fast it’ll make your head spin.” To which...
  • Kim Kardashian

    Frank came into work late one day and his boss was noticeably upset: “You’ve been late almost every day this month! You’re fired unless you...

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    Frank came into work late one day and his boss was noticeably upset: “You’ve been late almost every day this month! You’re fired unless you give me a good reason why!”   Frank thought for a moment then began to speak, “Sorry, boss. I always have late night plans. I know everyone worth knowing and...
  • A Job Interview

    Three guys go in for a job interview, all at the same office. The first one goes in for his interview and the interviewer says,...

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    Three guys go in for a job interview, all at the same office. The first one goes in for his interview and the interviewer says, “What’s the first thing you see when you look at me?” The guy says, “That’s not too hard, you’ve got no ears.” The interviewer says, “That’s it, get out, you’ll...