Funny Jokes Club

  • Newborn Baby

    Jim was seconds away from having a vasectomy when his brother and sister-in-law barged in holding their newborn baby. “Stop!” exclaimed the brother. “You can’t...

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    Jim was seconds away from having a vasectomy when his brother and sister-in-law barged in holding their newborn baby. “Stop!” exclaimed the brother. “You can’t go through with this!” “And why not?” asked Jim. “Don’t you want to have a beautiful baby some day, like my wife and I have here?” Jim said nothing. The...
  • A Little Bit Different

    After a woman had given birth, the doctor appeared in the ward with a worried expression on his face and announced solemnly: “There’s something I...

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    After a woman had given birth, the doctor appeared in the ward with a worried expression on his face and announced solemnly: “There’s something I have to tell you about your baby.” The woman sat bolt upright in bed and demanded: “What’s wrong with my baby, doctor?” The doctor said: “Well, nothing’s wrong exactly. It’s...
  • New Evening Dress

    A mother was trying to explain to her little girl how she had recently become pregnant. She explained how a baby was growing in her...

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    A mother was trying to explain to her little girl how she had recently become pregnant. She explained how a baby was growing in her tummy, and how it took an egg and a sperm to make the baby. Daddy made the sperm and Mommy made the egg. Then the little girl asked: “Mommy, if...
  • Mixture Of Feelings

    One night a woman found her husband standing over their newborn baby’s crib. Silently she watched him. As he stood looking down at the sleeping...

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    One night a woman found her husband standing over their newborn baby’s crib. Silently she watched him. As he stood looking down at the sleeping infant, she saw on his face a mixture of feelings: disbelief, doubt, delight, amazement, enchantment, scepticism. Touched by his rare display of deep emotion, she felt her eyes grow moist....
  • If There Is Blood!

    Isn’t parenting strange? When you have the first child and go out in the evening, you call the babysitter at least 5 times. When you have...

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    Isn’t parenting strange? When you have the first child and go out in the evening, you call the babysitter at least 5 times. When you have the second child, you leave the telephone number of where you are going to with the babysitter.  When the third child arrives, you leave strict instructions that the babysitter only...
  • Ugly Baby

    One morning, a woman and her baby were taking a bus. As she entered the bus the driver says “Wow, that is one ugly baby.” ...

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    One morning, a woman and her baby were taking a bus. As she entered the bus the driver says “Wow, that is one ugly baby.”  The woman was deeply hurt. She continued to get on to the bus and found a seat next to an elderly man. The man asked her, “What’s wrong? You look...
  • The Babysitter

    A young teenager was on her first babysitting job to earn money. At bedtime, she sent the youngsters upstairs to bed and sat down to...

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    A young teenager was on her first babysitting job to earn money. At bedtime, she sent the youngsters upstairs to bed and sat down to watch television. One child kept creeping down the stairs but the babysitter was firm that he should go back to bed. At 9 pm, the doorbell rang and a woman...
  • The Question Is

    I asked my 2 year-old-daughter, “Do you want to ride the horse?” She looked around and said, “But we have no horse.” I replied, “I...

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    I asked my 2 year-old-daughter, “Do you want to ride the horse?” She looked around and said, “But we have no horse.” I replied, “I can be the horse for you, my baby girl, you can ride my back.” She looked straight into my eyes and replied, “Mom, but you are a human.” The question...